Stupid things people say to pregnant women

The title says it all... I was out and about today... and was asked the following question:
"So are you like, pregnant?"
Nope... I just like shoving watermelons in my shirt and see how many people notice.

Another favorite:
"How are you feeling"
How the hell do you think I am feeling?! I am growing a watermelon in my tummy! I can't eat, can't sleep, can't stop eating, can't stop sleeping, I can't walk without a waddle, and my couch eats me every time I sit in it! How exactly am I supposed to answer that?! :)

When responding to me saying that I am scheduled for a repeat C-section, after being asked when I am due:
"Repeat C-section? You do know that you can have a natural birth even if you have had a c-section before right?
Yes nosey pants, I do know this! But I also know I had pre cancer cells removed from the lining of my utuerus, and my first EMERGERNCY c-section did more damange as well... so the lining of my uterus is already thin... I COULD try for a natural birth, but I am a MUCH higher risk of having my uterus tear which is a huge risk to both my life, and that of my son... so NO... I cannot have a natural birth. But thanks for prying into my business asshat!

"You are so big!"
Thanks you are too! Why would I want to hear that I am big and fat, do I say that to you? What makes the fact that I am pregnant, permission to you to tell me I'm fat?!

"You can barely tell you are pregnant!"
Equally, this one hurts too! Because I feel like a freakin house! Please don't tell me that my scale keeps going up, my clothes stop fitting, and I don't even look like i have a reason for it!

Touching me without permission:
 Ok, this is an action, not a question, but SHOULD be a question. It's really quite simple, all you have to do is say, May I touch your belly? Not just reach out and pop my personal space bubble. Now, if we have been friends a while, and are someone I would normally greet with a hug.... permission isnt required... you get dibs. But random strangers... please stop treating me like  Buddah and ask before you rub the belly! I don't rub your belly do I?

"Have you been craving anything"
No, just everything in my fridge, pantry, freezer, and the local bakery. I don't like answering this question because you don't want to tell people, yes... I have been craving a grilled ham and cheese every night at 11 pm, I ate nothing but Taco Bell for 4 and a half weeks straight because all I wanted was a spicy bean burrito and nachos with extra cheese! Because when you DO answer this question... you see the person's eyes move straight to your belly! Not cool, friends, not cool! Just be sweet and bring me a freakin blizzard! :)

I remember when I was pregnant with Taylor, I was maybe 5 or 6 months pregnant... I had to go out of town for a business trip. There was a lady there who worked for my company, but whom I never met before. We didn't even exchange hellos or names yet! My boss asked me if I was getting hungry. His wife was also pregnant, so he was just takin care of me like he would want his wifes boss to take care of her. I made a joking comment about "You know me, I'm pregnant, I am always hungry." This woman I never met, turns to me and says, "Being pregnant is no excuse to getting fat!" I beg your pardon??? If being pregnant isn't an excuse to indulge a little in your favorite snacks, or eat some mexican food 4 times a week and not feel too guilty about it, I dont know what is!!! Later that weekend, I had my client ask me if I was due the next day... at 5 months pregnant, I wanted to kill the guy. Apparently what he meant was, if I wasnt having the baby the next day, I could go out with all of them for drinks (he was Danish, apparently they have a slightly different opinion on the effects of alcohol and pregnancy). None the less, his comment stung, and I really contimplated killing him!

Moral of the story... think twice before you open your mouth to a pregnant woman. Our feelings are already seconds from being shattered...we really don't want to hear your questions, suggestions, or comments about our stretch marks, bellys, moods, or food intake! Just wanted to toss that out there! :)

Yikes! I am a tad behind!

Ok- I suck at this blogging thing. I have made several attempts to catch the blogging world up about whats going on in my oh-so-important (insert sarcastic tone here) and oh-so-busy (insert serious tone here) life, but then I get all long winded and give up! SO... I will quickly recap the past however many months its been since I last posted!

1. I am pregnant! We are expecting our 2nd baby on Nov. 3rd. Its a boy!! And we couldn't be more excited! I won't lie, I was hoping for a boy for several reasons, mostly for the sanity of my dear husband, come those teenage years, but ohhhh I was secretly wishing for another little girl (only for about 5 minutes-  then Taylor turned 2 and I never wanted a boy so badly  - again for sanity purposes come the teenage years). We are so blessed to have one of both, and as of now, unless something  dramatically changes our thought process (and bank account) we will be completing our family with his arrival!

2. Taylor won't stop growing or changing or becoming her own little woman! This is especially hard for me to tell you guys, because we made a deal when she was born she would be slow on the growing up part, and thus far, she hasn't kept her promise! She is becoming such a smart, beautiful, little lady! No longer is she this super dependant, needy little baby. She is this rambunctious, creative, fiesty, little lady with so much to offer this world! Her smile melts me in about .01 seconds flat, and each time, I again praise Jesus that he only gave me one girl, because i am not sure I could handle two little ladies like my Taylor. She has had a great summer, did a little traveling, became a little fish in the water, battered her legs and arms with bumps, bruises, scratches and cuts, rode a tricycle for the first time, learned more words than I can keep up with, discovered what playing WITH other kids are, and has yet to break her "checking out the cute boys" habit she picked up at 9 months old (I don't wanna talk about it, the apple didn't fall far... just sayin), oh yeah, and she turned 2!  We are so proud of the little lady she is becoming and while I am soooo excited to see what she becomes in life, and where life takes her in her 3's, 4's, 10's, teens, and 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and everything in between - its still a little sad that I blinked and my teeny tiny taybug has turned into a little lady Taybug. Its hard to believe not so long ago she was this helpless being that I couldnt wait to get to know, couldnt wait for her to grow a little so she could crawl and walk and talk... and now,  here she is - this beautiful, active, smart, funny, and adorable big girl ready to take the world on (at least from our backyard). She starts gymnastics and swim lessons next Thursday - and we are so excited to get her to focus some of that crazy enery into something super productive! We are also very excited to see her grow as a big sister! When I ask her who Mason is, she says he is her brother. When I ask where he is, she pulls my shirt up and pokes my belly button. When I ask who her brother is, she says "Massssn" -  its really quite adorable! She has fun helping me pick out clothes for her little brother, and has no problem throwing out the clothes she doesn't think her brother would like! :) She is going to be so good with him!

3. Mike is starting a new job! After almost 5 years with his current company, 2 buyouts, 3 promotions, and many friends gained along the way... Mike has decided to leave and begin a new adventure. The timing is kind of crazy, but its a great opportunity for him both finiancially and professionally in terms of challenging him with new things. He will be working closer  to home, which will be great too! I am so excited for him and proud of him with what he has accomplished so far, and for what has yet to be done!

There has probably been a lot more in between, but the pregnancy, job search, and Taylor has sucked our time away from us! I cannot believe its already September (well as of tomorrow)! The time has flown and passed so slowly! I am very eager to move forward with fall, and have November get here so we can welcome our new and final addition to our family!

I hope this blog finds you all in good health and happiness! I will be better about posting (I think) now that summer is over! I will also try and post some pictures from the past 7 months too!! HUGS to all!